Have You Told Your Children They Are Not Good Enough?

I do a lot of thinking in two places of my house...in the shower and at the sink. Sometimes it's just me and my thoughts but many times The Lord meets me here. Today he brought to my mind two trips to Target and two different mothers. Both times my children and I were walking along and both mothers had a child with them that was just falling apart at the seams. I smile at both mothers and try to say 'I understand' with my eyes. We've all had bad days and it doesn't help when you have an audience. Both times the mothers looked at me and my children and looked at their own and said something so painful I'll never forget their words, "Look at them! They are acting so well! Don't you want to be like them?!"

My heart breaks at these words. Do these mothers not understand what they just told their children? Do they have any clue how deep that wound will go? They just told their precious child 'You are not good enough.' Does Jesus do that to us? Does he compare us to each other? Does he frown and shake his head that we have not lived up to the standard of the Christian next door? No. He does not put us down he lifts us up. We know we are not worthy of his love and discipline. Does he want us to live in shame of it though? No. He wants us to live in Freedom. 

These children were not failing their mothers. These mothers were failing their children. As I look back I wonder what these mothers would have said if I walked up to them and told them, "You are not as pretty as the woman in aisle 3. Don't you want to be like her ?"

Wouldn't this be equally painful?  Wouldn't this eat her up inside? Even if her soul dismissed the statement, would her spirit ever forget? I think not.

Take heart mothers. Do not fail your children.

Do More Than Survive Summer

Schooooooooools out for summer! Don't lie you know the song popped right into your head when you read that {smile}. I hear so many parents at the end of summer say, 'I can't wait til school is back in! My kids are driving me crazy!'. I hear ya! But! I believe the key to a joy and peace filled summer is...A Plan. I think a lot of parents just figure their kids want to veg out all summer. Trust me I'm sure they will last about a week or two but then they need stimulation! And I don't mean TV, video games or even playdates. If your children are in a private, public school, or educated at home they are used to schedules and constant transitions. Being at home without these can make them unmanageable, cranky, and racing away from home to friend's houses.

Take the summer to reconnect with your children. They have just the spent the majority of  9 months away from their home base.  We are striving to win our children's hearts to the Lord but first we must win their hearts to ours. Don't push them out of your home and schedule five days a week away from their respite place. Read this article about being the 'Door Opener' and start winning your children's hearts!

This is my plan...

Most nights I jot down a plan for the next day. For example the first day of our summer I wanted to get some cleaning done but of course I need to remember my children come first so this was my plan that day...

Breakfast

Bible with children

Clean bathrooms (they help with this- cleaning baseboards and cabinets) 

Play shoots and ladders

Laundry

Stamps with the children

Wash dishes 

3-D Pirate book and 3D Dino Book

Of course this includes Quiet Time, lunch, and snacks so this was a full day for me but the children were happy all day because they were not pushed aside or forgotten.

Here's our Summer Adventure List:

Trip to the doughnut shop

Trip to the cookie shop

Trip to the ice cream shop

Local Zoo

Visit Spray Parks

Make Smores

Visit Barnes and Noble- they love to browse the kids area

Make peanut butter balls

Make homemade paint 

Out of town Zoo

Craft Mondays

Throw an Un-Birthday Party

Build Fort

Camping

Fishing

Feed the ducks

Visit Insect Lore

Ride Bus

Ride the train

Summer $1 Movies

Beach Trip

Make a Bible Trivia Game

I'm sure we will add a few more here and there. We hardly visit the doughnut, cookie, and ice cream shop because we usually make these at home so it's a big deal for my children when we do visit them {smile} It's not about what exactly you do or how much you spend it's about building memories and trust together.

I also have my own Project List:

Paint mirror

Repaint black table

Paint coop

Extend chicken run

Come up to date on kids' scrapbooks

Make Miss Adventure's dress

Work on school schedule for next year

Then there's one last thing that is SUPER important...re-training in areas that need it. A few months ago we made a list of house rules. We were all very good at keeping to those rules but just like anything practice makes perfect and we need to  re-train (practice) what is expected. 

These are our rules at the moment:

1. Obey right away. 

* This is one we train for every few months as we can become slack after a while. Children push a little here and there and parents expect less and less little by little.

2. Do not get out of Quiet Time. Do not ask to get out of Quiet Time. 

*  The children have an hour and a half of Quiet time every day. Miss Adventure sleeps and Little Explorer plays for half and lays down for half. The talking and coming out of Quiet Time was become excessive and less and less Quiet for any of us.

3. No talking while brushing teeth.

* This task should take 5 minutes but with the talking and whining was taking 15 minutes! And leaving mommy and daddy very frustrated and tired.

4. Bed Time: No yelling. No getting out of bed. 

* The children share a room so this can get out of hand. Bedtime would start at 8 and take 1 hour to fall asleep.

5. Do not ask for something more than once.

* This drives me crazy plain and simple.

6. No potty talk.

* No explanation need right?

This week I choose #2 and #4 to re-train. Every time they obeyed the rules they got a treat (2 PEZ candies). Every time they disobeyed they missed out on their treat which was a sad sight from Miss Adventure by the way. Starting tomorrow we will move on to another rule. Now that they have been reminded and have had time to practice #2 and #4 they will receive discipline for disobeying. House rules may make some of you cringe but children need to know what is expected of them and each parent needs to know what is expected so one is not a softy and taken for a ride{like my husband...grin}.

Happy Summer!!